well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
and she was petting her beer can
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
