Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
