i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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