people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
