Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
