Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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