remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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