mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i have herpe
just one?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
