I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
