dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize