Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
