did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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