Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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