Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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