you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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