you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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