i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
