HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
