So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
