I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
false alarm, still single
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
