we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
