If that was your dad, he is hot
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
