i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
