we're blogging at a bar
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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