wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
