I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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