I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I love you.
Bad choice
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