I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
