I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
