he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
