Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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