He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
