Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
