I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
