I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize