He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
