Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
