I'm drive I can fine osifer
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
