That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize