Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
