is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
