Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
