Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
