If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
