I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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