you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
