Jerry, you need to find god
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
