there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
