Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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