Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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