wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
