apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I stole a fireplace last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
