Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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