Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
