like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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