There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
