I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
