my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
