i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize