im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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