you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
