I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
