Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
