found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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