I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
