I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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